Life sucks, and then you die.

Well, not really. I mean, if only, right?

If Life only got one chance to fuck with you before you died, it would find the biggest best way to show you, "Hi, I'm Life, and I have a big dick. I'm going to bend you over and fuck you." And then Life would proceed to do horrible things to you before you die.

Only a few people are really that unlucky. Life is more kind to the rest of us. Well, that depends on your definition of kind, but let's not parce words here, shall we? For the rest of us, Life is like an abusive lover.

Life will wine and dine you. Life will have you tickled pink and feeling spoiled on one day, and then, on the next, Life will leave you, except you'll always have his shadow. So you'll be alive, but you'll be huddled up in a fetal position on your bed, completely numb, not even enough strength to wish Life would come back to you. You whimper every now and again, and Life comes in to tickle your chin. But then he leaves again, and you kind of guess that Life has mistresses who he prefers over you.

You become convinced that Life is unworthy of your presence and so you decide to cut this relationship between you and Life once and for all. But then Life comes back, waltzes into your life. Life's looking flashy and extravagant. Life doesn't seem to notice that he's left you for so long. You assume this means Life didn't mean to hurt you, so you go back into his arms. "Life" you sigh before you sleep at night, with a smile on your face. And it's good for a while, but then Life hurts you. He does something terrible, or else he abandons you again.

But Life's always timely and returns always at the right moment... if he cares enough. But there comes a time when life grows tired of the cycle too. Life decides that there are better, more interesting people to torture. And Life leaves. And you were about to drop Life anyway. But he left you first. Yeah, you hate Life, but you can't help it, you love him too.