It's 11:33 December 31, 2009 when I begin to write this blog post. At the moment, I'm wearing a pair of old sweat pants and a t-shirt I've had for a while.
My hair is neither held in curls by product, nor is it straight from a pair of hot plates and an hour of work. It's fluffy, soft, fuzzy and features random knots. Initially, it kind of made me sad to bring in the New Year like this, actually, I still think it's kind of pathetic, but I've found a way of accepting it.
See, this way, I'm bringing in the New Year as me. I'm bare, and comfortable and not doing anything I believe inherently violates my character and principles. Sure I'm not having the best time, but nor am I pretending to be having fun somewhere that I'm miserable. I'm me in a natural kind of way. My hair, wild and untamed. My glasses, there, prominent, unashamed. My clothes, bland and honest.
This year, a lot happened. I got my first job. I volunteered. I made amazing friends. I made out for the first time. I passed classes I could have sworn I was going to fail. My family got a dog. I sided with my sister's fiancee in an argument against her. I learned that I can't be as close to some people as I once was. And I yearned for better things in life. I discovered how strong some friendships were, as well as how weak some friendships were. I chose to take swim gym -AGAIN. I learned a lot of new things as far as education and wisdom go. I hated the way I looked, I liked the way parts of me looked. I gained a few pounds, lost a few, gained a few...Learned to love starbucks. Learned to cry... kind of. Fucked up majorly as far as my academics go. Got a shrink. Smiled, laughed, cried, snuggled and bought lots of candy. I bonded with amazing people who may not quite yet be friends but who have earned a place in my heart. And lastly, I listened to great music. No year goes by without regrets, and I have my share, but this was not the worst of years.
To my friends, if you read this, thank you all so much. I don't know where I'd be without you all. I love you like crazy. You're the reasons I'm still alive even after feeling like dying. I wish I could hug you all right now, kiss you all at midnight because you are all my soul mates. Thank you for making me feel like I was worth something even when I couldn't see it. I hope you all get all the amazing things you want this year because you deserve it. Happy New Year, continue to be awesome because you've already been doing such a great job.
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