BEDA 9- Lots to talk about today: youtube, homophobia, john green and immortality!

I don't know if you've seen the tragic results of the boy who thought that if he posted a video on youtube telling people to stop calling him a homo, they'd listen. Basically, every comment of 19,000 comments were something along the lines of "HOMO," I don't know what to feel about it. On one hand I definitely feel sorry for the kid, I mean- he's 12! But on the other hand, he posts videos saying that homosexuality is wrong and "weird," and his channel name is ChristianU2uber, which means he uses "God" to excuse his total and utter prejudice against homosexuals (even though he says he used to be gay, but is now very attracted to girls). And then back to the first hand, it's definetely going overboard to use the word "faggot" and telling him to kill himself! It's one thing to do a bit of teasing directly off of what he says, and completely another thing to straight out be a bully.
Anyway, here's the vid, why youtube hasn't pulled it for his sake, I don't know. They HAVE to be aware of it, with THAT many comments.


It's also very close to Day of Silence, and I'm really not sure how many of these people are joking and how many are actually homophobic, and even if it's ok to joke about something like this.

On another topic, John Green had a live show today, and he asked a very poingnant question "Why do you want to be famous?"- and quite a lot of people seem to want to be famous so that they can live forever through reputation. Similarly, in the subway yesterday a woman preaching about Easter asked us, "which one of you can really say thay you would not like to live forever?" (or something along those lines). And the funny thing is, is that I have no desire to live forever through reputation, spiritually as she means, and physically as Scott Westerfeld grazes on in his novel EXTRAS. In all honesty, I just want to do something good for the world while I'm here, and I don't really care if people remember that I did that good thing after I'm gone. I don't believe in an afterlife, partially because i don't want to go to one. I just want it to be over when it's over because I've had enough time living, and thinking, because thinking and living are hard. And observing is hard. I wouldn't want to go to heaven because it would still bug me that somewhere there are people suffering in a place a called "hell," or some people who have had the opportunity to not exist anymore, which was all I wanted in my suicidal days that are still very much with me. Why do I want to do something good? I don't care to validate my goodness to anyone, I just want to make life better for someone else, the global conscience and wellbeing are far more substansial than my own. And when mine is over, I don't really care if other people remember me, or think about me- because I spent so much of my life thinking about them. Part of the reason why my head is hurting half the time, or sad half the time isn't that my life is so bad. It's because I'm thinking about other people that I can't help.

I want it- Life- to end when it does, because it was hard, and if I got more time, I'd still want to help others, and I don't want to be in anyway that I couldn't.